He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize