Nicole vs. Life
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
BRING THE BAGELS
Let's get the cat blown out
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
