i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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