11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize