i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
