Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
