you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
