and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
