This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
