You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
