If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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