If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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