so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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