brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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