Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
