but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize