I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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