so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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