Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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