love makes seman taste better
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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