I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
