Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
