i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
