it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
