So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
