I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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