the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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