it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
