Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
