Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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