you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have post one night stand depression
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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