She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
