After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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