It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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