I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize