You really coming over, don't trick.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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