I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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