his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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