I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
