Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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