Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
