He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
