Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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