im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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