New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
