We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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