they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
