will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
