i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
