I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
