Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize