So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
