i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
