I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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