I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
