WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize