my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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