I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
