I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
