Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
