I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
