And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
