tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
