i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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