so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
