Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
