you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
