he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
