A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
