i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
