I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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