Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
