so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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