he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
