Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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