you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
