I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize